The Art of Damage Control in Dating

Damage Control is About Validating Your Pissed-off Date's Feelings...

Art of Damage Control in Dating

If you’ve always desired to generate intense, long-lasting attraction that practically leaves a mark on her brain, then you’ve surely got to learn the proper way to talk to women.

It is not about pulling cheap pick-up lines that do not really spark her interest.

I’m talking about understanding the differences when considering the way in which gents and ladies communicate.

It really is all about knowing the reasons behind these differences, and with the information to your understanding.

Getting her number (while the subsequent date) starts with speaking in a means that directly taps into her attraction circuitry.

When you have mastered the different phases of attracting her, you’ll start jumping through those steps like a pro!

Build Instant Rapport From The Get-go

Any guy who is had his fair share of dealings aided by the opposite sex will eventually learn how to spot the “getting-to-know-you” and “let’s-get-serious” variety of dates. When you’ve been through different dating experiences, you naturally pick up a kind of “sixth sense” about these exact things.

For example, some guys recognize that the tone and atmosphere of the first three dates is markedly distinct from the next ones from then on. There is no making your way around the stakes are higher as soon as you’re past that gut-wrenching acquaintance stage.

Of course, the “three dates” thing is merely a rough estimate as it varies with every woman, but anyway as you would expect, the stress to outdo yourself increases with every successful date you pull off.

Contemplate it: the equal prospect of having off-the-chain success OR spectacular failure is BOTH exciting and terrifying at the same time. On another note, your date can also be looking to feel dozens of good emotions she got from your own initial dates, so her own hopes will inevitably within the ante as well.

When you are in this excited/terrified state, there is a rush of chemicals swirling in your mind. The incessant chatter buzzing in your noggin has already been clouding your thoughts, plus it keeps you against concentrating on the prize in front of you.

It’s likely that, a newbie at dating will be distracted with the likelihood of messing up as opposed to be revved-up by the possibility of finally seducing his would-be girlfriend. That’s the types of convinced that keeps lots of guys pre-occupied with useless thoughts like:

Oh man, did she just subtly imply that she actually is not interested in me, or am I simply imagining things?? Well, it CAN’T get any benefit than our last date… downhill could be the best way for me personally now!

Soon enough, you will find yourself saying or doing something that seriously irks the hell out of her. Just whenever you thought that all was well, a rapid flub comes out of nowhere and pulls the rug right out from under your feet.

Believe me – we’ve all been there at one point or any other. Some people ramp up arguing due to their date, if not get a slap into the face for our troubles. It really is all area of the game, my friend.

You win some and lose some, but are you aware that you are able to tip that victory/defeat scale in your favor?

Guided Because Of The Right Attitude

Guided Because Of The Right Attitude

Outrageous as it sounds, you are able to turn a seeming disaster into an unexpected victory. Guided by the right point of view, you can salvage your mistakes and redeem yourself in her eyes.

Truth be told, there is an approach to reverse the gears inside her mind if you accidentally obtain it rolling the wrong manner. Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs) will soon be quick to concede defeat and fold under the pressure.

But NOT you. I’ll clue you in on some mighty useful guidelines to beef up your attitude with some damage control smarts. First of all, SHUT UP.

Whenever you’ve it a tripwire with a dumbass comment additionally the “you-know-what” hits the fan, then it is time to zip the mouth area and bear the brunt of her reaction.

Most AFCs make the mistake of aggravating the issue by NOT knowing when you should let their date vent her side. Consider it in this way – let’s say your computer breaks down ahead of the warranty is up and you also’re feeling PISSED as hell.

Obviously, the next matter you will do is make a quick call and commence ranting on how their crummy product has set your work back.

Now, the poor sap on the other end associated with line isn’t planning to interrupt you before you’ve told them what the problem is about. The first thing they’re gonna do is allow you to vent all that steam prior to getting a word in.

This might be also the manner in which you are going to approach an upset date if you happen to disagree on something. Trust in me, it should be much easier on her to calm down once she’s had the chance to verbalize what it really is exactly which is bothering her.

Also, you should have a significantly better understanding of the actual issue that’s getting her all hot and bothered.

The next step is to confirm what she just told you. Going back to our angry customer example, the individual taking your call would have to repeat back what you just said to ensure that he fully grasps the situation.

Needless to say, that’s not the same as imitating another person as a kind of mockery, because that’ll clearly get you into more trouble! 

If these things sounds useful, it really is only a tremendously small section of what you should learn if you stop by to see “Conversation Chemistry”

Listing To Her

Listing To Her

Confirming her feelings in your OWN WORDS shows that you will do care about what she’s got to state and therefore you’re really listening. I don’t need certainly to inform you that BOTH of those traits separate the men from the boys.

Most guys that have dating woes are the ones who just utilize the time she is talking to consider what things to say next. DON’T be that guy.

It does not stop there. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, you will have to thank her for sharing her feelings to you. As you might be thinking how crazy it is to thank the one who just ranted your ears off, this action signifies which you appreciate her using the risk in being honest to you.

If you should be feeling that natural high from your own last date, it is obviously a bum-out when things go south after a flubbed remark or boneheaded gesture. What’s worse, she has to head out on a limb and open up by what’s bothering her.

So by thanking her, it helps re-establish that rapport that may have already been a little rattled from your blunder.

After that, you need to go through some more hoops to essentially seal the offer on patching up. Maintain the momentum going with assurances that you’ll be more careful in not repeating whatever you said or did that got her riled up in the first place.

More importantly, you must show sincere remorse for having hurt her FEELINGS. Keep in mind that women operate mostly on emotions in place of cold, hard logic when dating. That is why it’s necessary to acknowledge that you ruffled her feathers, so to speak.

While you are at it, it doesn’t hurt to wrap up your little discussion by topping things off with another positive remark about her. Take note that it must be directed towards how good she handled the disagreement, and not about her killer figure.

Otherwise, you are going to turn out looking like a pathetic suck-up wanting to weasel his way into her pants.

I’d also love to remind you you will need to keep an awesome head in this tricky moment. I’d be a whole tool if i did not say that you’re bound to be at least as upset as her once the date hits a snag.

But remember: women admire guys that are accountable for their emotions as they are very likely to sleep with men that don’t give in to outbursts or tantrums. Simply said, this is an ideal possibility to let your MATURITY shine.

Ask yourself: is lashing out at her more important than ending the date on an excellent note? In the event that you answered “no”, then you know it’s best to ensure that is stays together in the place of telling her how shallow this woman is to get upset over a trivial matter.

The very last thing she has to hear is how her feelings are totally inconsequential to you personally. Do that, and you also’re robbing her of her straight to feel no matter what hell she would like to feel.

This is not to express though that you need to be a spineless little “Yes” man who agrees with every person’s opinion. You are basically just being smart enough not to ever mess up a perfectly good date by apologizing for offending her.

Want it or perhaps not, what you may said or did HAS hurt her, in spite of how right you might think you might be. You’re simply acknowledging her emotions and assuring her so it was not on purpose. Don’t confuse that with kissing butt just to gain acceptance.

In summary, damage control is about validating your pissed-off date’s feelings and controlling your own at the same time. It is about diffusing a potentially explosive situation in place of merely avoiding it.

The key is really to contain the situation and also make a possibly ugly scenario into a positive learning experience. Most likely, your ultimate goal is seduction, so properly managing conflicts along the way helps you NOT screw up your reference to her.

Please share this informative article with among of the friends that having hard time dealings with opposite gender’ they will certainly thank you because of it, share the love!