You could have realized that in this part of the world we don’t stop talking about confidence. And I’m certain that you’ve heard it before:
If you’d like to be regarded as a guy, if you want to enjoy killer success with the ladies, ‘confidence’ is the key ingredient that converts daydreams into reality.
All of the famous ‘lady killers’ through the media to your movies are supremely confident – and that’s no coincidence.
If this is something you’d like to get handled for yourself, then “check this out” and interestingly enough, ‘confidence’ just happens to be the subject of today’s articles.
The way I see it, confidence is one of those ideas that ladies often don’t think of being attracted to. Ask a lady what she finds most desirable in a man, and she might bring up things like height, humor, and a good career… but she’ll almost never say anything about wanting a person with full confidence.
However, ‘confidence’ is one of those ‘intangible’ qualities that ladies don’t tend to give some thought to you having but they instantly perceive whether you’ve got it or perhaps not.
And whether that confidence is present or not becomes the lens by which the rest about yourself sometimes appears. So a lady who says that she only likes tall guys might think that she only wants guys like this.
But really, if she were to meet a man who fulfilled that criterion, but who didn’t also have confidence, she very likely would feel no attraction for him whatsoever. And that is when she’ll start saying such things as, ‘I don’t know, he seems great on paper but I’m just not feeling it.’
Here’s The Interesting Part.
If you’re a confident guy – meaning, you have strength of personality and that it doesn’t matter overly much to you personally what a woman thinks of you – then it literally cease to matter on her behalf and for your needs, whether you’re tall, short, rich, poor, or whether you exterminate bugs for a living. (No offense to exterminators… they’re good guys too.)
When you’re in a position to free yourself through the shackles of caring in what women think of you, a radical and quantum shift occurs as a natural byproduct for this attitude.
- You instantly optimize your masculinity
- You forever leave the danger-zone of validation-seeking
- You feel able to ‘get’ the kinds of women you prefer, whether or not they profess to like qualities in men which you specifically do not possess.
For instance, a lot of guys are positioned off when a woman announces point-blank that she likes guys who possess a specific quality which they themselves do not. Common ‘likes’ include muscles and height.
These two things are a ‘big deal’ for a most guys because they’re not easily changeable.
There’s not a lot you can do regarding the body composition or your height – at least, not quickly.
Confident guy, so when a female says something such as that, what should you will do? Does that mean you currently have ‘no chance’ with her?
Truth be told:
The solution is not any. This might be a prime opportunity for one to demonstrate some hard-core leadership and proven to her that, actually, you realize better than she does.
And that which you know is, needless to say, so it’s the feeling she gets from guys who have those qualities that she really wants… not only the qualities themselves.
What she’s really saying is the fact that she wants a powerful and masculine man.
So Here’s My Suggestion:
Which you stop caring about what women say they want. The end result is, they just don’t know what they want until it happens. You will find flat-out unattractive men everywhere with beautiful women on their arms – plus they got those women by sheer strength of personality.
If you can make a woman feel a certain way by the strength of personality, you’ll be able to literally overcome any predilection for material qualities whatsoever. Accepting this fact is a little bit like finding out an equation that a lot of guys just don’t get.
You will Find Three Ways Of Looking At It.
Equation 1: caring about what women want + not having ‘desirable qualities’ that women consciously want = ongoing not enough success.
Equation 2: Caring about what women think + having ‘desirable qualities’ that women consciously want = some initial success that’s inevitably poisoned by a weakness of character and desire to have validation, accompanied by a lengthy slump into tepid mediocrity.
Equation 3: Not caring about what women think + having desirable qualities or not having them = radical, ongoing success using the women that you require.
Clearly, the mitigating factor is whether there is the confidence in you to ultimately prioritize that which you think first of all. It all boils down to self-esteem.
Caring too much about what women think of you (translation: validation-seeking) is a benchmark of ‘unmanly men’ who would like to be wanted by women and who could even have those qualities that look good ‘on paper’ but who are able to never seem to convert those ‘on paper’ qualities into actual tangible success with women.
Women like manly men, right? Meaning, they like men who will be strong, in charge, and who don’t beg and crawl for approval. But the majority of many a lot of men are seriously intimidated by a female whom they perceive to be appealing to the extent that they actually lose whatever veneer of ‘coolness’ and confidence which they usually possess, and instantly accede authority and right-of-refusal to her.
And also this is when that switch marked ‘attraction’ in her own head gets turned permanently off, as you are instantly regarded as no more having the ability to fulfill her most rudimentary of needs in a potential mate … namely, that you’re a guy.
You’ve Gotta Man Up.
So what about looks? Imagine if you genuinely believe that you’re an unattractive guy?
Something that puts a big dent into the confidence of guys is the fact that they don’t perceive themselves, deep down, as the type of guy that an excellent woman would want. So that they wind up thinking they’ve got to try to act confident, without really feeling it.
Of course, this particular approach has a tendency to lead to a large solid brick wall, because truly great women can sniff out in-authenticity… and not solely that, nevertheless they can also usually put two as well as 2 together, and figure that, if you’ve surely got to ‘act’ confident, there has to be a pretty good reason why you’re not actually genuinely confident i.e. there should be something ‘off’ in regards to you.
The idea that you’re not physically attractive enough is something that the majority of guys get hung-up over. And i believe most guys would actually be ok with feeling ‘average’, and on occasion even less-than-average, looks-wise if it wasn’t for all those damn good-looking guys that have women all over them.
Or if perhaps they didn’t need certainly to overhear a couple of secretaries in the office water-cooler dribbling over how ‘buff’ some guy at the gym was.
It’s this sort of stuff that gives men the concept that looks are the primary determinant of success with women … and it is what makes them think, ‘I’m ugly. Thus I might as well not even bother.’
Important thing is, most men wish on some level which they were better looking, simply because they wish to know how it feels to make heads and also it easy with women. And yeah, it’s true. Looks definitely help. However they don’t matter nearly up to you imagine they do – or in the way that you think they do.
Let Me Explain.
It’s understandable which you’ve got to do the best by what you’ve got. But that’s obvious. What’s not so obvious is that, as long as you’re treating the human body just as if it’s worth something, have got some personal style going on, and tend to be meeting basic standards of hygiene, your actual looks are not important.
Here’s the deal:
Appearance matters… looks try not to. Begin to see the difference?
Not to mention, appearance matters as it’s a benchmark of how well you treat yourself.
If you’re slopping around without an aesthetic care in the field, that is likely to broadcast the idea which you can’t (or won’t) look after yourself and if you can’t take care of yourself, chances are that you can’t take care of much else that you know.
Easily put, you’re not a ‘together’ kinda guy. It’s hopefully becoming clear here that authenticity and confidence are really the issues at hand. This is what i am talking about.
If you’re taking excellent care of yourself since you occur to feel good this way, and as you respect and value yourself – instead of as a ‘tool’ to obtain more attraction from females – then it’s likely that, top-notch women can be likely to observe that inherent confidence inside you and get interested in it. And then, they’ll be charmed because of the ‘cherry on the top’ personal-style thing you’ve also got going on.
Needless to say, the reverse is also true. If you’re trying to use looks as a shield to hide behind, and also as a facade to stop women from noticing that the personality is actually not so hot, then which is duly noted as well – and you’ll find that the women you do attract tend to be the ones that are ‘fixated’ on exteriors.
Your motivations are just like a ‘set point’ for the outcome that you end up getting.
Men are generally pretty visual creatures. We need a female to be physically attractive to us before we can feel attraction for her. So it makes sense – at least on a logical basis – for us to keep ourselves to your same standards. But here’s the deal: women don’t actually worry about looks nearly just as much as you almost certainly think they are doing.
Even when they do say they desire a guy who looks a particular way, it is actually what’s beneath the looks that counts: namely, the capability to be self-validated. To be OK with the way you look, to do something like you’re worth something, also to not try to overcompensate for any perceived ‘flaws’.
Ladies are attracted, deep down, to men who are’t seeking their approval. They desire a powerful, in-control man.
In real-life terms, this means that they don’t want a guy that is concerned about whatever they think, or whose confidence has a huge ol’ dent inside it because he’s balding on top or shorter than he’d want to be.
And they don’t want a guy who comments on his ‘bad points’ or asks them if they think he’s attractive or says, as she runs her hand over his stomach, ‘I’m doing sit-ups and it will be flat in per month.’’
Since this stuff all screams ‘validation needed here’! If you have something that you don’t like about yourself just be cool about this. Don’t mention it. Don’t point it out. Don’t apologize for this. And definitely don’t ask her if she ‘minds’ or if it ‘bothers her’.
If she’s with you, it doesn’t bother her. Don’t make it a problem. In the event that you’ve got confidence in yourself, and you act like your quality is a given, and as when you yourself have some pride in yourself as well as your own worth specifically, as you have some value then you’re definitely being a man.
You’re Leading. And That’s a Good Thing.
So, let’s say you have got some serious hangups about the way you look? What if you’ve got oozing acne, a bald patch that you’re hideously self-conscious about, or Coke-bottle glasses held together with a band-aid on the nose?
Well, first of all, I want to remind you that confidence is always to a big extent about having pride in yourself, this means taking proper care of yourself inside and outside. If you’re not acting like some guy who treats himself with worth, you can’t expect other individuals to see past that.
So yeah. Take that insecurity while the necessary foot into the butt you need to do something positive about any serious external ‘issues’ that you’re hung up about.
Go see a dermatologist, consider getting Lasik, and shave the head (balding is not optional but shaven-headed is oh and by the way, it reeks of confidence.)
And another other thing: I’m suggesting these ‘developments’ not since you have to do these things to be great with women ( though it will definitely help.) But let’s talk turkey. Really, why sabotage your success in the event that you don’t need to?
And secondly, let’s not forget about visibly being a ‘high value’ guy, which means you shouldn’t underestimate the necessity of treating yourself like you’re worth something. Inside and out.
And thirdly, most guys believe it is quite difficult to obtain past these ‘issues’ for themselves. It’s not the acne or the glasses or even the bald spot that turns women off it is the confidence problems that these specific things share with the guy who may have them. I really hope you like looking over this post!